Where the Wild Things Are

(originally written a little before midnight last night...so apropos with the terrible news about Maurice Sendak's death today.  RIP!)


There is some living creature in my bedroom right now, menacing the fuck out of me.  I have no idea what it is, because I'm terrified to look.  Whatever it is, it's been making its way around the perimeter of my room, terrorizing me with a double click every two seconds for the past twenty minutes.  I'm trying to maintain the stillest posture possible, hoping it doesn't sense me in the room, with the exception of this one wrist moving across the page.  In fact, I'm only writing this because my notebook and pencil were right here by my hand already, and I figure it will distract me from the noise.  So far, so bad.

One half of my brain is trying to will the creature dead with my mind while the other half is hoping it's just one of those strong ass ants carrying a broken watch on its back.  Hey, it could happen.  Speaking of ants...I finally got tired of their tenacity today and started killing them as they appeared, leaving their bodies smashed where they lay as a warning to all their ant friends:  Stop fucking with me.  I can't help but wonder if this is some sort of payback.  Have the ants called their bigger, scarier friend to wreak havoc on me?  Has the bug war against me began?  Because I have a feeling that I won't be winning this one.

God Forbid they bring the toys out.

So help me God, I'll never kill another red ant in Costa Rica again if this thing drops its mission and leaves my room.  When I said I wanted to see Costa Rica's million different species of wild life, this wasn't what I had in mind.  Whatever's making that noise could be anything from a cockroach to a scorpion to a death warrior.  Do any of those things make that noise?  How the hell should I know?  All that I know is that I have no idea what creature does.  So tonight, I'm praying to my grown man wearing an Orkin hat and carrying a fumigation device Jesus that this creature Leaves. Me. Alone.  I'd kill to be home right now.

The irony of this post juxtaposed against the last is not lost on me -___-  Oh, and by the way, look what joined me for breakfast this morning!